Stimulus Checks
 

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive a economic stimulus check from the government.

It is indeed a very exciting program and I’ll attempt to explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money that they are sending to the taxpayers?
A: From the taxpayers.

Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition tv
television set, a new iPad or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely.

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

* If you purchase a computer, the money goes to India, Taiwan or China.

* If you purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras or
Guatemala.

* If you buy a fuel efficient car the money will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.

Instead, keep the money in America by”
(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Buying beer, or
(5) Buying a tattoo

These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.

CONCLUSION:
Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No need to thank me - I’m just glad I could be of help.

I think we have a lot in common TiltonBB...

Chuck daSilva in Moultonborough! 😂

And Sea-Doo and Yacht Club and Smith and Airhead and SeaChoice and...

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I was trying to make a funny...😂🤓😄🙄

So far it seems like it has been spent on internet service!

SanFrancisco? Maybe, maybe not.

Stimulus Check
 

I choose to give to local charities where it will do the most good!
While I do support local businesses but I am aware of where the product I buy is made. Please support American businesses and local charities.

Stimulus Checks
 

Has anybody here on the forum received a stimulus check yet? They said direct deposits would start on 4-6-20 but today is the 9th and I have yet to hear of anybody getting one.

Likewise, SBA advances were supposed to start on 4-3-20 but I have not heard of anybody getting any of those promised funds either.

Sort of reminds me of the link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHiqGqoIGII

I heard that they were supposed to start sending checks the week of April 13, and should be finished with those people who have filed with direct deposit by April 24. Then they will start sending out checks to those who do not have direct deposit.

Unfortunately, some pundits have suggested that the las paper checks won’t go out until August because of the slow, outdated process. That will be too late for most of the people who really need it.


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A friend of mine got a $600 check today. Edit: it appears that was an unemployment benefit, not stimulus check.

I have not received my jetski accessory/gas, eating out...I mean stimulus check yet...

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www.ekalactivitycenter.com had quite a few stand up paddle boards and kayaks from their rentals, priced to sell at low, low, low prices ..... last October ..... and probably still has many left.

And you did!
 

But Top-Water was being even funnier in post #3!

Toppy- It was a beautiful thing! :D

Stimulus Check Humor
 

Where’s the check!! :D:D

"One of these days Nancy, POW to the moon" :D

Jackie Gleason, 1916-1987, known as the 'The Great One' ...... for an interesting biography on Jackie Gleason, suggest you go to Wikipedia and read the section on his early life .......

"Jackie Gleason was a staunch supporter of the Republican Party and eventually became good friends with Richard Nixon. Gleason and Nixon would golf together."

The PPP provision in the C.A.R.E. act would be a huge help to small business' but its first come first served until the money runs out.
Money will be forgiven that is used for payroll, utilities,rent and interest on mortgages which would be a huge help, especially
to restaurants
Understandably,there was a huge run on the banks nationwide on friday when the applications were first accepted but there were some obstacles.
We got ours in at 10a.m. on friday thinking it was good to get in early.At 3pm my bank contacted me to let me know that SBA wanted payroll records since the amount of the loan is based on payroll.Had to scramble to get that done, since we use a payroll service but called them and they helped out.
At 7 pm we were notified by my bank that SBA now wants tax returns.We paid in May and had them on file so we rushed back to the office and got them right in.
We read every page of the C.A.R.E Act and no mention was made of needing these records or we would have had them ready when we first applied.
My point is that I believe this probably happened to nearly everyone that applied so there probably will be a delay in distributing the money.
It's understandable that they are overwhelmed
Loan officers at MVSB worked through the night to help process loans for their customers....best Bank in NH

So funny and so true! That was a great show back in the day!:D

Checks in the mail...
 

Yesterday in the daily Covid 19 update Mike Pence said the stimulus checks are on targeted to go out as promised beginning next Friday (April 17th).:confused:

Ummm. replay back to March the checks would begin going out from IRS on April 9th!

The SBA gov site for loan requirements was updated everyday since last Friday as they inserted verification requirements daily. The updates went into Tuesday. Banks finally began releasing money for PPP on Wednesday.

So you're blaming the speaker for the Treasury's slow distribution of checks from a program that only a Democrat could love?

Seriously, I do not understand how any self-respecting Republican could like the idea of checks being mailed to every American with no hint of how to pay for them.

Hey Einstein,

You see the two smiley faces in my post and the word “humor” in the topic? Didn’t think so...

Take a chill will ya!

Dan

Actually......I remember as being "bang, zoom" for the trip to the moon

Went through something similar with our local bank, thought we had all the correct forms filled out, all the necessary backup information, but then the bank asked for the latest copy of our bank statement. :confused: Yes, the latest statement from them, the same bank we've been dealing with for 20+ years, that holds the mortgage to our building.

Come to find out,we were the first PPP loan they were processing, so they were a little lost themselves. Happy to report we were fully funded this morning.

We just got our stimulus check—you know how much jetski stuff and hats I can buy now?! Cha-CHING!

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Dialing for dollars 2020
 

Not to put a damper on all the fun stuff people can do with their stimulus checks, but it’s disturbing to me that the people who really NEED the money haven’t received it yet! The lines of people lined up at food banks across the country just blew our minds...thousands of people needing help and food for their families. It also blew what was left of our minds that people seem not to save a dime for hard times.

Absolutely. Part of my comment is sarcastic because we don't really need it—I'll be doing what I think is important, though, and putting it back into the economy (the ski and gear was paid cash last month with inheritance money, given us a bit of extra spending coin).

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P.S.
I should have made it clear that my comments were not intended as a criticism directed at you. The system has kinks in it. 😎

No worries—I agree with you that it's imperfect.

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How absolutely true. Putting away for a rainy day or the idea of a pantry, seems to have vanished to all but a few. Guarantee if I run of of ketchup, TP, pasta, (fill in the blank), I have one tucked away somewhere, (no, deli items don't count, lol) and my house is smaller than most peoples living rooms.

Some people call it planning....

If nothing else, this crisis has highlighted the debt problem across the country. Federal debt is now well over $20 trillion. State and municipal governments almost equal that amount. And personal debt again approaches that amount. The past several decades seem to have a "spend all you want, we'll print more" attitude. Which is great, until hyper-inflation kicks in.


Anyway, if you're still looking for areas to spend your stimulus check (just heard from my credit union that ours will be in our account 4/15), try a local musician, especially one who uses American-made instruments... :D

Please forgive--I have soft spots for both Nancy and Jackie. So I probably do need to chill.

To the Moon, Alice...to the MOON!

As a child I used to chuckle when Ralph yelled this to Alice on "The Honeymooners," but with the passage of time I no longer think it's funny to threaten to strike a woman.

How things change: why did we ever think threatening someone with domestic violence was humorous?

Stimulus Checks
 

Went out to the IRS.gov site to check on status of our checks using the 'Get My Payment' link. Was not able to get a status.

I am on Social Security and receive a monthly direct deposit, Sue is still working. We have not filed our 2019 Taxes and did not receive a refund last year, 2018.

Looking for a place to verify they have our correct/current info. Any suggestions. ?

Thanks,
Bill
Water Camper

Hey ...... I'm 68 and recently, like three days ago, got my $600 gov pay-out into my MVSB account that also receives my monthly social security pay-outs.

Went to Walmart and bought a large yellow Forsythia shrub, and a Roger Federer tennis ball carrier/picker-upper, holds 75 tennis balls, reg price $19.95 reduced to $11.00 as a slow seller or something ........ to make my tennis game ...... GREAT AGAIN ...... is suffering from too much pickleball!

Yes, I thought about that soon after I hit send. There is nothing funny about domestic violence. Three reflections/reasons I did not delete:

First, I remember Ralph as a loving husband who never harmed Alice in any way. She never believed him when he said "to the moon", I'm pretty sure she smirked. He also said stuff like "I'm king, you're nothing", during episodes when it was crystal clear than she was the queen, and he the court jester.

Second, lots of great art is full of contradiction and tension. Tony Soprano is a loving family man, Walter White a bookworm. Springsteen's "Born in the USA" pairs patriotic uplifting music with a harsh indictment of the USA's mistakes. It is Ralph's bluster paired with his love inside the home and ineptitude outside that makes the show.

Third, it's been a long time, memory is a funny thing. I will try to watch again, and I will take down my salute if I come to agree with your point.

My son told me this weekend he got his...

Got mine today!!

IRS.GOV site for refund update/status
 

My son got his today.

This morning the IRS finally activated the stimulus portal to check on your refund status. I found when I logged in they didn't have my bank info.

If you go to https://www.irs.gov/refunds and register you can find the status of your refund, or enter your direct deposit information if necessary....

Only took about five minutes to do.

Gimme a break...it was called COMEDY before freakin’ political correctness. Come on people...:

That said, in keeping with the thread title, my daughter received her stimulus today.
$1200 for her and $500 for my granddaughter.
I have been trying to access my bank to check on the status but their websites are probably overloaded and I can’t get in to my account.

Frankly I find that it is still somewhat "funny," even in this day and age, which begs the question: why did, and why would, enlightened people think threats of DV are "funny?"

I don't fault you for posting, nor do I fault you or I for laughing: I merely wonder why we thought and still think it is "funny?"

I have a client who just had his wife jailed on a threat she made to shoot him: she's charged with a felony.

Some time ago a woman said she was moving out that coming weekend: while moving out her husband shot her, her lady friend who was helping her move, and himself.

That's reality, and it's no laughing matter.

Our oldest received hers yesterday.