It's hard to believe all the disinformation in some of the posts so far in this thread.
"Worst case is forced air. You lose 50% of your heat in the duct work and intitial heating." This statement makes no sense unless you run ductwork in an unheated crawl space or unconditioned attic, without insulation around the ductwork, and without the duct joints completely sealed. All of that represents a poorly designed and installed forced warm air system, something totally unacceptable for a new home. If all your ductwork is within the conditioned envelope of the house, none is "lost".
"You still need backup." A GSHP (ground source heat pump, aka "geothermal") doesn't need a backup system anymore than any other type of heating system. Can it break and need service? Of course, as can any other type of system.
"It seems it is expensive to put in and VERY expensive to maintain. We were told that it doesn't work that well." Installation costs vary widely. There is no "typical," just as there is no "typical" location (part of country, terrain, rural vs. suburban, etc). For a new rural house in the northeast, properly designed to be very thermally efficient, if a well must be drilled for water anyway, then installation cost may not cost much more than a fuel-fired heating system. Maintenance of a GSHP typically is less than for a fuel-fired system. Like a refrigerator, it just sits there and runs for years. If distribution is by warm air, then filters need changing periodically.
Kimdaved, the first part of your house design should focus on making it very, very thermally efficient, possibly in the superinsulated class. That costs perhaps 5% more than conventional construction. We're only talking about the outer shell, mind you. Once you have a good shell designed, then think about how to heat the place. Having a very low heat demand makes GSHP that much more attractive, as the system is that much smaller.
Warm air for distribution of the heat is convenient, efficient, and lets you reverse the heat flow to give you A/C in the hot, humid parts of the summer. There are a number of good websites out there on GSHP. Do your research well, and don't rely on heresay.
Our situation is like yours, although we are further along. Old cottage, new house design. But ours is nearing completion. Yes, it is a superinsulated design, and the heat source will be GSHP. The well had to be drilled much deeper than the heat pump needs for the expected load, so the drilling part was essentially "free."
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