[jkjoshuatree]

I was thirteen and she was a much older (fifteen) and much more experienced woman. She scared the living daylights out of me. We met at the beginning of a weekend in late summer and by Sunday I got the nerve to ask her to go for a walk. Actually, she asked me. Sorry-my mind has a hard time accepting that fact (I guess it's a male-pride thing). Anyway, a bunch of us had been swimming when she asked me. I was cold, wet, nervous, and shaking beyond belief. We walked to a big rock in the middle of Bear Island (Sunset for those of you who are familiar with Bear) and climbed up. I was sitting with my knees bunched up to my chest and my arms were wrapped around my legs. She sat with her back up against mine (the nerve of that girl) and then started to ask me about my "past experiences". I was thirteen for crying out loud! I played the honesty card (I figured she'd find it endearing) and I could tell she felt bad for me. Then she leaned in. I knew this was it. The moment of truth. I half-closed my eyes and we kissed. I let her break it off because I didn't know how to. Or when for that matter. She smiled sweetly and asked me what was wrong.
"Nothing" I said, "why?".
"Because" she said, "your lips are blue."
I was so nervous I couldn't get warm even though it was ninety degrees out. Then she asked me if I wanted to kiss her again.
"I don't know," was all I could muster.

I never saw her after that weekend. She was up visiting friends and never came back to the lake. I tell myself it was because I was so smooth and charming that she just couldn't handle my animal magnetism. But I know (as well as all men do) that my first kiss was one of the most terrifying, exciting, bewildering, and confusing things that ever happened to me. And I wouldn't change one second of it for the world.