Woody, adding to what many others have stated, I actually care MORE about what happens where my "second home" is located than the first because I plan on owning it longer and living there longer. In addition, my parents live there now (in another part of town). I think your generalization is almost as bad as the term that got you started on this.
I would also disagree somewhat with your tax arguments. In exchange for your 5% contribution to the MA tax coffers, you get a government that more actively supports business development and the infrastructure to support it, thereby creating the very jobs that many NH residents complain that they have to pay income taxes on. Is it perfect? Absolutely not! But... if you don't like it, get a job somewhere else!
Finally, for all. The myth I do think needs to be debunked is the one of taxation without representation. As always, money talks. You can be sure that any lakes town government will be concerned about what the tax paying non-residents think if they are organized and have a coherent, strong position. I've seen it done. Towns are not dumb enough to take this money for granted. You can attend town meetings and have your voice heard. You can write letters to the editor to influence opinion, and you can volunteer service to the community that engenders support for you when you ask for it.
One point Woody and I do agree on is that those who just want to whine are not going to get anywhere.