Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishy Cover
Here at the Fish Cove Technical Center (FCTC) we specialize in research regarding non petroleum powered propulsion (NPPP). After reviewing the previous postings, especially with respect to the traction/friction issue, we believe that the condition is the result of inadequate federal spending on traction reseach. Accordingly, we are considering a proposal to the government agency responsible for friction & traction (State? Transportation? HHS?) to study this issue for 3 years and write long technical papers. Does anyone else want to jump on the bandwagon?
|
To the Directorate of the FCTC ....
Dear Sirs/Madams/Persons of non-specific gender;
We would be most happy to assist you in feeding at the Federal trough. At this time I can not specify the particular area of research wherein we can be the most useful in the extracation of $$s. While the task of writing a long technical paper on the lack of traction while on ice is so appealing as to be self-evident, so are other possible avenues of research in the various human factors presented by the HPS concept. For example, is it more efficient to use chain or belt drive ? What, indeed should any, gearing be used ? What is the maximum velocity that can be expected from the HPS, laden or unladen ? Should the HPS be equipped with safety belts or air bags ? Should usage be restricted to those under the "Baby Boomer" ages per the recent CPSC report ? Perhaps we should meet to discuss the possibilities and perhaps the inclusion of yet unspecified persons to further assist in the squandering of the taxpayer's $$s. Feel free to email us in this regard at your earliest convience.
M-n-M Enterprises
1600 Oinkoink Way
Wastington, DC
Project Code : HPS
MnM@having_black_russian.org