priest who will marry son/fiance

Misty Blue · 03-12-2010, 03:06 PM

First. Congratulations to the couple! brk's son and soon to be daughter in law are foutunate in deed to have such a caring family. Good luck!

What I have not seen in this thread is the mention that in the Catholic religion ( I am one) Marriage is a sacrament. The church doe's not perform "Church Weddings", the Church performs a Mass in which the Bride and Groom recieve the sacrament of marriage. If you want to go further, they recieve the grace of the holy spirit, etc. but that is another subject.

I am not sure why the marriage can't be done "outside" of the church building. It is true that there needs to be an alter, etc. for the Mass, but I am sure that Masses are being said by chaplains right now in fox holes in the gulf. Alters are portable.

As for the pre Cana. I was mad when I had to do it. I had to tavel two hours to Manchester, take the class and then travel two hours back for six weeks. After a complete catholic education I thought that it would be a wast of time. I was wrong.

The reason for the requirement, they said, was because the divorce rate among catholics in America was at 46%. An unheard of number only a few years before. What's more, the classes had very little to do with religion. It was about life. Knowing each other, money, chores, , children, in-laws, birth control ( I was suprised that they discussed ALL of the options) and many other useful tips. Was it worth it? 26 years later we're still runnen' up the stairs!

I do not know if it was asked but why not recieve the sacrament at St. Charles church and have the reception at chruch landing. St. Charles is right up the road and both places are drop beautiful.

Sorry, didn't mean to preach. My best to all and have a wonderrful life.

Misty Blue

MAXUM · 03-13-2010, 01:55 PM

That is not entirely accurate Misty Blue. My wife and I got married in the Church and actually did something slightly different. The pastor of the church we were attending we did not particularly care for, therefore we decided that we did not want him to perform the ceremony. We did however have a deacon (who was ironically married himself) there who was outstanding, we asked him to perform our marriage. Obviously a deacon cannot perform a mass, but there is nothing that says when you get married a mass must be said. However we did get married in a church and frankly for anyone who is Christan and really understands the significance of what is taking place, where better to have it take place than in the presence of God and in his house.

I also agree with some of the other comments here, that the Church, no matter the denomination, is there to define the framework which represents the beliefs one must subscribe to in order to be a practicing member. If the individual does not like it then they don't have to participate, but nobody should expect the institution to change or waver on their behalf. To do so would be disingenuous and hypocritical.

Island Girl · 03-13-2010, 02:04 PM

I agree that if an institution sets rules and one wants to be a member, then you follow the rules... much like this forum. What I find hypocritical is that a well connected person such as JFK jr can be married by a catholic priest in a baptist chapel and our forum member's child cannot be married by a prient, outside over looking one of God's greatest creations, Lake Winnipesaukee.

Good luck to pit martin's son in finding a way to be married in a meaningfull and spiritual place.

IG

Lucky1 · 03-17-2010, 11:54 PM

Church Landing is a lovely site for a wedding. I had a friend invite me to a wedding there last summer and it was wonderful.

I do have another friend who had an uncle who was a priest who performed their wedding ceremony at the Yale Club in NYC.

Perhaps it is good that people can talk about things like this and hear opinions and suggestions. I have a friend whose mother would not attend her wedding as she was not able to be married by a priest as the groom was divorced. This situation in the post here seems more minor as there are other ways they can have a priest marry them later etc.

Good luck and happy marriage which is much more important than the wedding ceremony!

VtSteve · 03-18-2010, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucky1

Perhaps it is good that people can talk about things like this and hear opinions and suggestions. I have a friend whose mother would not attend her wedding as she was not able to be married by a priest as the groom was divorced. This situation in the post here seems more minor as there are other ways they can have a priest marry them later etc.

As with many rules within the church, many are bent, ignored, or just broken (quietly). Getting married within the Church after divorce is what I's call a negotiated deal. I've seen first hand just how expensive these negotiations can get.

03-12-2010, 03:06 PM	#1
Misty Blue Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 658 Thanks: 121 Thanked 283 Times in 98 Posts	A few thoughts... First. Congratulations to the couple! brk's son and soon to be daughter in law are foutunate in deed to have such a caring family. Good luck! What I have not seen in this thread is the mention that in the Catholic religion ( I am one) Marriage is a sacrament. The church doe's not perform "Church Weddings", the Church performs a Mass in which the Bride and Groom recieve the sacrament of marriage. If you want to go further, they recieve the grace of the holy spirit, etc. but that is another subject. I am not sure why the marriage can't be done "outside" of the church building. It is true that there needs to be an alter, etc. for the Mass, but I am sure that Masses are being said by chaplains right now in fox holes in the gulf. Alters are portable. As for the pre Cana. I was mad when I had to do it. I had to tavel two hours to Manchester, take the class and then travel two hours back for six weeks. After a complete catholic education I thought that it would be a wast of time. I was wrong. The reason for the requirement, they said, was because the divorce rate among catholics in America was at 46%. An unheard of number only a few years before. What's more, the classes had very little to do with religion. It was about life. Knowing each other, money, chores, , children, in-laws, birth control ( I was suprised that they discussed ALL of the options) and many other useful tips. Was it worth it? 26 years later we're still runnen' up the stairs! I do not know if it was asked but why not recieve the sacrament at St. Charles church and have the reception at chruch landing. St. Charles is right up the road and both places are drop beautiful. Sorry, didn't mean to preach. My best to all and have a wonderrful life. Misty Blue

03-13-2010, 02:04 PM	#3
Island Girl Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Central MA Posts: 2,352 Thanks: 18 Thanked 535 Times in 179 Posts	It's who you know I agree that if an institution sets rules and one wants to be a member, then you follow the rules... much like this forum. What I find hypocritical is that a well connected person such as JFK jr can be married by a catholic priest in a baptist chapel and our forum member's child cannot be married by a prient, outside over looking one of God's greatest creations, Lake Winnipesaukee. Good luck to pit martin's son in finding a way to be married in a meaningfull and spiritual place. IG __________________ Island Girl ....... Make Lemonade

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03-13-2010, 01:55 PM	#2
MAXUM Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Kuna ID Posts: 2,755 Thanks: 246 Thanked 1,942 Times in 802 Posts	That is not entirely accurate Misty Blue. My wife and I got married in the Church and actually did something slightly different. The pastor of the church we were attending we did not particularly care for, therefore we decided that we did not want him to perform the ceremony. We did however have a deacon (who was ironically married himself) there who was outstanding, we asked him to perform our marriage. Obviously a deacon cannot perform a mass, but there is nothing that says when you get married a mass must be said. However we did get married in a church and frankly for anyone who is Christan and really understands the significance of what is taking place, where better to have it take place than in the presence of God and in his house. I also agree with some of the other comments here, that the Church, no matter the denomination, is there to define the framework which represents the beliefs one must subscribe to in order to be a practicing member. If the individual does not like it then they don't have to participate, but nobody should expect the institution to change or waver on their behalf. To do so would be disingenuous and hypocritical.

03-17-2010, 11:54 PM	#4
Lucky1 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Moultonborough and FL Posts: 459 Thanks: 318 Thanked 123 Times in 53 Posts	Church Landing is a lovely site for a wedding. I had a friend invite me to a wedding there last summer and it was wonderful. I do have another friend who had an uncle who was a priest who performed their wedding ceremony at the Yale Club in NYC. Perhaps it is good that people can talk about things like this and hear opinions and suggestions. I have a friend whose mother would not attend her wedding as she was not able to be married by a priest as the groom was divorced. This situation in the post here seems more minor as there are other ways they can have a priest marry them later etc. Good luck and happy marriage which is much more important than the wedding ceremony!