Proposed Zoning Change in Alton

[Gearhead]

Yesterday's Baysider had an article about a petition effort to rezone most of Robert's cove road to Rt. 28 from Rural Residential to Lakefront Residential "because of a recently opened commercial poultry business and the petitioners don't want the area to be overrun by farms and noise throughout the community."

It turns out that the recently opened commercial poultry business is a home with a couple of roosters, which makes me think the problem might be noise.

Perhaps the petitioners should have first considered the following:

1. Call the police and inquire about a noise ordinance. If the abutters complain about the early morning (or all night) crowing, then the police may take them away.

2. Visit your neighbor. Ask if they sell eggs. Maybe if you have a touch of class, you could actually ask politely what the plan is for the chickens. If they plan to keep them, ask if there's a way to insulate the sound.

3.Take up Falconry. At night. Or raise raccoons. I think you can do that in a RR zone.

4. The resonant frequency of a chicken's skull is 7Hz. If you can hear them they can feel seven hertz if you amplify it enough. Bad things happen to chickens at 7Hz.

5. Caveat Emptor. I looked into what covenants were in place on my property and what zone I was in before I bought it.

Obviously you can not anonymously do any of the above now, but there is one option left - You can move to a place that's not overrun by farms. I suggest northeastern New Jersey. No roosters there.