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I'm surprised you went with this story. I think "your" cliff dive story is confused with "your" coin diving at the Mounts stop in Alton .......... I figure if your gonna tel a BS story go with the one - with your speed boat and outboard motor story and how it survived a trip thru the "Witches"
{I actually remember this commercial as a kid but forgot it was actually a blooper.}
How about those water pumps he got at Lowes with a 90 day guarantee, that he used as an ice eater on his dock. Returned them at day 89 for a full refund. Maybe he can teach the homeless a lesson on gaming the system.