priest who will marry son/fiance

WakeboardMom · 03-12-2010, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ropetow

Try going to

http://www.rentapriest.com/

This a site of married Roman Catholic priests who are still performing their priestly duties, albeit outside of the confines of the official RC structure.

If you are more concerned about the spiritual aspect and less about the 'official' hierarchical aspect of Catholicism, this might be a good option.

THAT is a very cool resource, thank you!

I particularly like the way that you phrased the sentiment: "If you are more concerned about the spiritual aspect and less about the 'official' hierarchical' aspect of Catholicism..." I'm sure that there are many folks who can relate to that idea. Thank you for that as well.

jeffk · 03-12-2010, 12:24 PM

I really find this thread very funny. There seems to be a lot of people very disturbed that a religious group that has been in existence for over 2000 years won't adjust their beliefs to accommodate the picture perfect wedding. I was in leadership in a church (not catholic) and there are significant reasons why these type of rules exist. First, the church isn't a McDonald's restaurant, drive by and order. A church exists to support members as a family, to support the marriage, to support the education of members and their children in the faith. That's not possible when the couple is only dropping by for the day. Also, I don't know how strong a faith this couple has but if they aren't that committed why do they have the expectation they can get a priest on demand? Why do you need a priest at all if your faith is only good on Easter or Christmas? Again, I don't know this couples situation.

It is my opinion that if the couple was significantly connected to the church they would have known about this issue beforehand. The church is not like a carpenter that comes to your house and does just what you want. It is a representative of a belief system that is not subject to individual whims. I will be the first to agree that often the dogma of a church is at times silly but in many other cases it is not. But I think that people who think the church behavior should be changed to suit their personal needs are rather self centered and foolish. They don't get the purpose of the church.

Now you can disagree with me and the church all you want. In that case go get a rent-a-priest or JP and be happy with your choice. I doubt it really makes that much of a difference to you except that you can't get what you wanted.

ApS · 03-12-2010, 01:52 PM

I found it funny too, but for a very different reason. A national forum that bemoans progressive change to our Republic could have this as a headline:

Quote:

"Priest who will marry son/fiance"

Few readers at that site would express surprise!

Misty Blue · 03-12-2010, 03:06 PM

First. Congratulations to the couple! brk's son and soon to be daughter in law are foutunate in deed to have such a caring family. Good luck!

What I have not seen in this thread is the mention that in the Catholic religion ( I am one) Marriage is a sacrament. The church doe's not perform "Church Weddings", the Church performs a Mass in which the Bride and Groom recieve the sacrament of marriage. If you want to go further, they recieve the grace of the holy spirit, etc. but that is another subject.

I am not sure why the marriage can't be done "outside" of the church building. It is true that there needs to be an alter, etc. for the Mass, but I am sure that Masses are being said by chaplains right now in fox holes in the gulf. Alters are portable.

As for the pre Cana. I was mad when I had to do it. I had to tavel two hours to Manchester, take the class and then travel two hours back for six weeks. After a complete catholic education I thought that it would be a wast of time. I was wrong.

The reason for the requirement, they said, was because the divorce rate among catholics in America was at 46%. An unheard of number only a few years before. What's more, the classes had very little to do with religion. It was about life. Knowing each other, money, chores, , children, in-laws, birth control ( I was suprised that they discussed ALL of the options) and many other useful tips. Was it worth it? 26 years later we're still runnen' up the stairs!

I do not know if it was asked but why not recieve the sacrament at St. Charles church and have the reception at chruch landing. St. Charles is right up the road and both places are drop beautiful.

Sorry, didn't mean to preach. My best to all and have a wonderrful life.

Misty Blue

MAXUM · 03-13-2010, 01:55 PM

That is not entirely accurate Misty Blue. My wife and I got married in the Church and actually did something slightly different. The pastor of the church we were attending we did not particularly care for, therefore we decided that we did not want him to perform the ceremony. We did however have a deacon (who was ironically married himself) there who was outstanding, we asked him to perform our marriage. Obviously a deacon cannot perform a mass, but there is nothing that says when you get married a mass must be said. However we did get married in a church and frankly for anyone who is Christan and really understands the significance of what is taking place, where better to have it take place than in the presence of God and in his house.

I also agree with some of the other comments here, that the Church, no matter the denomination, is there to define the framework which represents the beliefs one must subscribe to in order to be a practicing member. If the individual does not like it then they don't have to participate, but nobody should expect the institution to change or waver on their behalf. To do so would be disingenuous and hypocritical.

Island Girl · 03-13-2010, 02:04 PM

I agree that if an institution sets rules and one wants to be a member, then you follow the rules... much like this forum. What I find hypocritical is that a well connected person such as JFK jr can be married by a catholic priest in a baptist chapel and our forum member's child cannot be married by a prient, outside over looking one of God's greatest creations, Lake Winnipesaukee.

Good luck to pit martin's son in finding a way to be married in a meaningfull and spiritual place.

IG

Lucky1 · 03-17-2010, 11:54 PM

Church Landing is a lovely site for a wedding. I had a friend invite me to a wedding there last summer and it was wonderful.

I do have another friend who had an uncle who was a priest who performed their wedding ceremony at the Yale Club in NYC.

Perhaps it is good that people can talk about things like this and hear opinions and suggestions. I have a friend whose mother would not attend her wedding as she was not able to be married by a priest as the groom was divorced. This situation in the post here seems more minor as there are other ways they can have a priest marry them later etc.

Good luck and happy marriage which is much more important than the wedding ceremony!

VtSteve · 03-18-2010, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucky1

Perhaps it is good that people can talk about things like this and hear opinions and suggestions. I have a friend whose mother would not attend her wedding as she was not able to be married by a priest as the groom was divorced. This situation in the post here seems more minor as there are other ways they can have a priest marry them later etc.

As with many rules within the church, many are bent, ignored, or just broken (quietly). Getting married within the Church after divorce is what I's call a negotiated deal. I've seen first hand just how expensive these negotiations can get.

03-12-2010, 12:24 PM	#2
jeffk Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Center Harbor Posts: 1,166 Thanks: 205 Thanked 432 Times in 249 Posts	Funny thread I really find this thread very funny. There seems to be a lot of people very disturbed that a religious group that has been in existence for over 2000 years won't adjust their beliefs to accommodate the picture perfect wedding. I was in leadership in a church (not catholic) and there are significant reasons why these type of rules exist. First, the church isn't a McDonald's restaurant, drive by and order. A church exists to support members as a family, to support the marriage, to support the education of members and their children in the faith. That's not possible when the couple is only dropping by for the day. Also, I don't know how strong a faith this couple has but if they aren't that committed why do they have the expectation they can get a priest on demand? Why do you need a priest at all if your faith is only good on Easter or Christmas? Again, I don't know this couples situation. It is my opinion that if the couple was significantly connected to the church they would have known about this issue beforehand. The church is not like a carpenter that comes to your house and does just what you want. It is a representative of a belief system that is not subject to individual whims. I will be the first to agree that often the dogma of a church is at times silly but in many other cases it is not. But I think that people who think the church behavior should be changed to suit their personal needs are rather self centered and foolish. They don't get the purpose of the church. Now you can disagree with me and the church all you want. In that case go get a rent-a-priest or JP and be happy with your choice. I doubt it really makes that much of a difference to you except that you can't get what you wanted.

03-12-2010, 03:06 PM	#4
Misty Blue Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 658 Thanks: 121 Thanked 283 Times in 98 Posts	A few thoughts... First. Congratulations to the couple! brk's son and soon to be daughter in law are foutunate in deed to have such a caring family. Good luck! What I have not seen in this thread is the mention that in the Catholic religion ( I am one) Marriage is a sacrament. The church doe's not perform "Church Weddings", the Church performs a Mass in which the Bride and Groom recieve the sacrament of marriage. If you want to go further, they recieve the grace of the holy spirit, etc. but that is another subject. I am not sure why the marriage can't be done "outside" of the church building. It is true that there needs to be an alter, etc. for the Mass, but I am sure that Masses are being said by chaplains right now in fox holes in the gulf. Alters are portable. As for the pre Cana. I was mad when I had to do it. I had to tavel two hours to Manchester, take the class and then travel two hours back for six weeks. After a complete catholic education I thought that it would be a wast of time. I was wrong. The reason for the requirement, they said, was because the divorce rate among catholics in America was at 46%. An unheard of number only a few years before. What's more, the classes had very little to do with religion. It was about life. Knowing each other, money, chores, , children, in-laws, birth control ( I was suprised that they discussed ALL of the options) and many other useful tips. Was it worth it? 26 years later we're still runnen' up the stairs! I do not know if it was asked but why not recieve the sacrament at St. Charles church and have the reception at chruch landing. St. Charles is right up the road and both places are drop beautiful. Sorry, didn't mean to preach. My best to all and have a wonderrful life. Misty Blue

03-13-2010, 02:04 PM	#6
Island Girl Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Central MA Posts: 2,352 Thanks: 18 Thanked 535 Times in 179 Posts	It's who you know I agree that if an institution sets rules and one wants to be a member, then you follow the rules... much like this forum. What I find hypocritical is that a well connected person such as JFK jr can be married by a catholic priest in a baptist chapel and our forum member's child cannot be married by a prient, outside over looking one of God's greatest creations, Lake Winnipesaukee. Good luck to pit martin's son in finding a way to be married in a meaningfull and spiritual place. IG __________________ Island Girl ....... Make Lemonade

03-13-2010, 01:55 PM	#5
MAXUM Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Kuna ID Posts: 2,755 Thanks: 246 Thanked 1,942 Times in 802 Posts	That is not entirely accurate Misty Blue. My wife and I got married in the Church and actually did something slightly different. The pastor of the church we were attending we did not particularly care for, therefore we decided that we did not want him to perform the ceremony. We did however have a deacon (who was ironically married himself) there who was outstanding, we asked him to perform our marriage. Obviously a deacon cannot perform a mass, but there is nothing that says when you get married a mass must be said. However we did get married in a church and frankly for anyone who is Christan and really understands the significance of what is taking place, where better to have it take place than in the presence of God and in his house. I also agree with some of the other comments here, that the Church, no matter the denomination, is there to define the framework which represents the beliefs one must subscribe to in order to be a practicing member. If the individual does not like it then they don't have to participate, but nobody should expect the institution to change or waver on their behalf. To do so would be disingenuous and hypocritical.

03-17-2010, 11:54 PM	#7
Lucky1 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Moultonborough and FL Posts: 459 Thanks: 318 Thanked 123 Times in 53 Posts	Church Landing is a lovely site for a wedding. I had a friend invite me to a wedding there last summer and it was wonderful. I do have another friend who had an uncle who was a priest who performed their wedding ceremony at the Yale Club in NYC. Perhaps it is good that people can talk about things like this and hear opinions and suggestions. I have a friend whose mother would not attend her wedding as she was not able to be married by a priest as the groom was divorced. This situation in the post here seems more minor as there are other ways they can have a priest marry them later etc. Good luck and happy marriage which is much more important than the wedding ceremony!